July 14, 2024

Monday Marriage Matters: Mystery

Written by Anna Pociask at annapociaskphotography.com

Mystery: Something that is difficult or impossible to understand or explain.

When was the last time you looked at your spouse, and said, our marriage is such a mystery!? No, but, I bet at times you have thought or even said, being married can be so difficult, so hard to understand, so hard to explain, and somedays wanted to throw in the towel and say being married to you, is impossible.

I would encourage you to read Ephesians 5:22-33 tonight with your spouse and discuss what stands out to you, what doesn’t make sense to you, where you would like your marriage to be in retrospect with this passage, because:

a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect (be in awe) of her husband. Ephesians 5:31b-33

Timothy Keller, the author of; The Meaning of Marriage really struck a chord with me. “Over the years you will go through seasons in which you have to learn to love a person who you didn’t marry, who is something of a stranger.” We will have to make changes, that we never intended to make, but when we can grasp the mystery of marriage–which is a lifelong journey, we will see that marriage is not about self-fulfillment, but self-denial. And that self-denial gets us closer each day to representing the beauty of Christ and the church.

Photo taken with my tripod on our vacation in California. I wanted to remember this trip as a refresher, reminder, revitalizing time spiritually for our marriage. As the bible is the center in this image, as we turn to God to be our center when we fail and not understand one another.

I want to end on a few points of encouragement:

  • Face your spouse, face the truth that is difficult and use it to grow together, not push you farther away. Whether this means getting counseling, or confessing hidden sin, and then pray. I had a couple (sunday school teachers) tell my husband and I that they never knew anyone in their class were hurting, until they came to them to tell them they were getting a divorce. Do not wait till its too late. It is never too late to work on your marriage.
  • Look at changing as a new journey, a new chapter in your marriage. No other relationship will be as intense, as passionate, more real than the commitment you have with your spouse. Change can feel uncomfortable, but, we have to die to the selfishness of wanting to be “happy” at all times. If we base our love on feelings and emotions, they will not last, we must look to love as an act of obedience–living out the vows we said to our spouse the day you became husband and wife. Love is constant–it never fails.
  •  Marriage should not be easy; it continually brings up our weaknesses and pushes us to a more mature character like marriage. But, if we live each day in our marriage striving to receive and not give, we are setting ourselves up for disaster. Pursue your marriage with a mystery that never gets old, but, continually striving to study it, learn from it, and grow from it.


What book are you reading on marriage right now? I am reading, The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller.



Anna Pociask , MA

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