June 22, 2024

Monday Marriage Matters: Give Thanks

By Anna Pociask


November always brings everyone into harmony, whether we recognize it or not. We are all expressing our thankfulness to the world (now that we have facebook statuses to do so).  1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances”. We all understand the concept of what it means to give thanks. But, giving our thanks and living out our thanks are two different things. Just with any aspect of life, anything we do without love–the world would not survive. When we do not live out our thanks in love toward our spouse we should consider our action dead….non-existant—not fruitful.

 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:18

Don’t hear me wrong–those two words, THANK-YOU, can reveal a lot about a persons character if we let ourselves be examined. For the one giving thanks, by expression of word, may be swallowing some words of pride. Maybe saying thank-you is not a natural trait. Or maybe it is hard for one to say thank-you because it makes them feel weak, or they are withholding the blessing to give to that person out of selfishness.  And the one receiving the words of thanks may be putting their guard up of not knowing they can trust the words of thanks. How do we get past those barriers that would be letting in so much life to a marriage?  I think we all know when a genuine thank-you is given or received. And how do we know? By our actions.

What are a few ways we can show our spouses we are thankful for them?

  • consistent
  • cards
  • creative
  • conversation

Our thankfulness can not be on our own timing, and when it is only convenient for us, or feels just right. It needs to be consistent, where the other spouse can rely on trusting the words of thanks at all times. Our spouses need to know we are not saying thank-you just to get something in return. And don’t forget to say it with a smile and look them in the eye. Make it direct. Make it a part of your marriage.

The art of writing in a card, or placing a card in the mailbox has been lost. Or how bout leaving a card in your own mailbox to your spouse, just show them you are thankful for them. I don’t know about you, but a card goes a long way with me. I have a huge box filled with all the cards given to me. When I write a card or receive a card more times than not there is the word thanks in it. A card can express our thankfulness in a written format, and then that person is able to go back and reread those words when needing the reminder they are appreciated.

Lets get creative with how we show our thankfulness. This is the part where we may have to dig back into how we use to pursue our spouse while dating. When my husband was on the prowl of courting me I would find letters on my windshield of my car after volleyball practice or when I woke up and was headed to class. I just pulled out an old letter from 2005 while Justin and I were dating…

Anna, you being apart of my life has been amazing. I have never before been as challenged as I am, and encouraged as much as you do me. It is so exciting to me to find someone who has a longing to grow and know God as I am, with a willingness to serve wherever He may lead. It is exciting for me to see how much we have in common–from serving the Lord to the little things we like and simply spending time together. I am thankful the Lord has put you in my life.

Dr. William Harley says, “without conversation, the warm atmosphere and the deep physical relationship each partner needs could never be maintained.” Maybe this hits home more for the woman, but, if we are both sharing our thanks to one another it will only communicate that much more our needs to each other, and then we learn how to meet each other’s needs. I am not sure I know anyone that does not appreciate a special word of thanks for something they have done, or for simply saying thanks for being the person they need in their life.


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